My Fixes For Excessive ADHD Brain Chatter

Is your inner voice as jerky as mine? I find it super helpful to process my plans out loud. Let's discuss! 

The other areas that help me when my brain is chattering too much:

Nature

 And not just any nature. NEW nature. A place I haven't been before helps engage my brain and quiets my chatter.

Meditation...

Sometimes opening myself up to more chatter is the way to go. Meditation is nonstop chatter for me. But getting good at being nonjudgmental about it, and getting into the habit of calmly redirecting my thinking...it helps!

Talking out loud! 

When I'm talking out loud, my monster mind shuts up. I like that. 

The article I referenced:

Talking to Yourself Out Loud is a Technology for Thinking

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https://calendly.com/russjones/30minutechat

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Do you have one of those brains that never shuts up? Is that like just it's just always always going all the time? You're like, come on. You're like, come on, neurons, give me just five minutes. Chill the F out. The chatter inside, my brain is relentless. So what is an ADHD or to do? That is my favorite thing to talk about, the to-do. So let's get to the doing. You are listening to ADHD Big Brother, the podcast for adults struggling with their ADHD, their comorbid depression, their anxiety. Oh, it's just a moot. I'm your host and your ADHD Big Brother, Rush Jones. I've got ADHD too. I've got depression as well. It's crapastic. So let's learn some stuff. Let's laugh at some stuff. Let's make some commitments to do some stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, here's some stuff. Yeah. Yeah, here's some stuff. You ready for some stuff? I am excited to talk to you today. Uh the Biz Report uh at ADHW Brother Headquarters is uh we're trucking along. I got a single one-on-one productivity coaching spot available if you want it. I might have another one popping up soon, but right now I have one spot available uh for that, and I have one spot available in the group coaching for Mondays, and then I have two spots available for the group coaching on Thursdays. If you need help getting unstuck and becoming confidently consistent, that's my buzzword. That's my marketing buzzwords. Confidently consistent. Uh that's my jam. And then ultimately you learn how to coach yourself, which is freaking cool. Uh get in on that. The one-on-one is 700 bucks for four weekly sessions, and the group coaching is 250 bucks a month if you're a non-uh ADHIBe brother member, community member. These are not guaranteed rates. Guy, I know everybody wants to know the I'm I'm like you. I know that. I know that thing is like I don't want to fucking book a free chat when I just want you to tell me how much it costs, so I can gasp and be like, that's too much. Just give me that. I get I get that. So there you go. But be warned. But if you're listening to this in 2028, maybe, and my one-on-one coaching is like two grand for four sessions because I'm that hot. I'm in hot demand. You've been warned. Prices are subject to change without notice. All right. But you still do have to book a free chat to apply. I mean, sorry. I have to meet you. There is a world where we're not a good fit, you know? We gotta suss it out. You might be like, oh, you're like this all the time. You say fuck and shit a lot, and that's too many curses for me. Exactly. You gotta suss it out. Plus, I need to even suss out if you're ready for change. Like maybe you're not. If you're just looking for someone to tell you what's ADHD and what's not and educate you on it, don't waste your money. Oh my god, it's free and it's everywhere. I'm sure somebody somewhere has written a book about ADHD, and I'm almost positive there's one or two million YouTube channels that you can choose from. If you're gonna be spending money, be ready for change, right? Because otherwise you're just throwing your money away. Because to be ready for behavior change, right? You're wanting to make changes in your life. That's not gonna be cupcakes and rainbows and unicorn sprinkles. It is, there is no magical way of being exactly who you are, and suddenly life is better because you spent money on coaching or something. Some of it's gonna suck. How's that for marketing? Come hire me, it's gonna suck. But you know what? We'll get through it together. Uh, you know, but you know, you get on the other end of it, it's glorious. Alrighty, links are all in the show notes on how you do all that business. Mental health report, let's do that. This is where we're normalized talking about our school spaghetti. This is the good, the bad, and the weird, because we're not always fine. We gotta be cool talking about it. Peeling the onion a little bit. Rarely are we fine. So let's crack open the cranium and talk about what's going on inside. Here's what's going on inside me. Uh, mood state for me is stable, which I've which I believe is the equivalent of fine. Uh I owe you more than this. Okay, how about this? Uh, I went kayaking with Noble uh this last week, my college-age son. And uh I typically take Wednesdays off because you know I'm a solopreneur, you know, I will work all day every day. You know the deal, the grind. Uh so you know it's gotta be self-care Wednesday. That's what I do. Why Wednesday? That is a good question, and I have an actual solid answer for this. I hate doing stuff on the weekends because that's when everybody goes to see the nature. Everybody goes and does the hikes. But Wednesdays, ha ha! Not as many people. And we are in a heat wave out here in Los Angeles, so uh hike did not sound pleasant. So we went down to Long Beach, rented ourselves some kayaks, and we enjoyed the cold ocean water in the marina, and the moon jellies are out. Oh my god, you get to you can pet the moon jellies. So if you're in the community, I posted photos and the video of Noble and I in the marina petting the jellies. I was in the moment. Super peaceful, and I noticed that my brain was quiet during this time. I was in the moment. I was enjoying the scenery, the nature, the quality time with Noble. My takeaway is clearly that I need nature. But we were also discussing this in the community book club. We're reading The Power of Wonder, and it's really interesting because I think that if if I were in that environment, um, let's say I kayak that marina and I do it every single day, it would lose its effect, I think. There would be less for my brain to engage in because it's it all becomes normal and expected. So my brain would kick up the chatter. So, what I think is the positive aspect of all this is that it really validates my desire in the couple of years when Alistair graduates to go buy an RV and live in it full time. New scenery all the time, new environments. And if that quiets the chatter, oh my god, the nomad life sounds real good. I I found this interesting because I promised Alistair that I would not move again since the divorce. This was 10 years ago. I've moved probably three times. Uh, I'm only caged really by the school district. I have to stay in stay in Alistair School District. But man, after a couple years, I just I always feel like I need something new. So I I'm toughing it out for a couple more years. We can do this, but that was a cool insight, and also my daily meditation practice is back as an unmedicated adult with ADHD. When I sit on my Zabuton in my Zafu cushion to meditate, set my timer and put my attention on my breath. I do not win at it. That is for sure. The sports analogy is like I would say it's like going to the outdoor basketball court to shoot free throws. You know, I've got my ball, and I shoot a free throw. I'm shooting free throws. That is what I'm there to do. And then the ball bounces off the rim, flies over the fence, into traffic, and I have to chase the ball down. Takes a few minutes. I'm there to shoot free throws, but now I'm on a three-minute side journey to get my ball back. That to me is like trying to follow my breath in a meditation. It's it's it's really not about how good I am at it. It's about the practice of like sitting inside of a moment, being aware of the moment, the discomfort of the moment without judgment, and that's really hard to do, because I judge discomfort. I judge it as stupid and that I don't like it. So practicing that self-awareness of the shitty moment, recognizing the judgment for what it is, and then deciding what to do with my attention, even if I go off the rails for like, you know, I try to do a minimum of two minutes, maximum of 20 if I can get there, but rarely do I get that far. Uh it's just, you know, shooting the free throws. Things just get easier over time, but I think meditation works wonders for me because a lot of ADHD is uh doing a thing that feels wrong in the moment, like intrinsically wrong. You know that tension? It's like your fucking laundry, you know? It just it's like a not now, right? The not now of laundry, or the not now of making a phone call, or the not now of working on my taxes. There's discomfort abound, you know, it's everywhere. And so it's really the practicing the art form of sitting in moments that are filled, riddled with discomfort, and getting on the other end of it. It it's helpful to me. Alrighty, that's me. How are you doing? Reach out, let me know. The offer always stands for you to reach out and let me know how you're doing. Tell me, verbalize it. That's what we're gonna try to talk about today. I want to talk about verbalizing, externalizing your thoughts with sound. Sound wise. Oh, is this gonna be a science one? We're gonna talk about the hertz, the megahertz of your sound barriers. My inner voice, um on autopilot, I should say, it's basically negative and just really seems to love pointing out what's wrong, what's missing, what's left to do, how to be better, how I'm failing. But verbalizing my verbal voice, the ver my externalized verbal voice is not so mean. That's pretty interesting to me. In my experience of this thing, which uh let's call it um life, this thing that we are doing called life. Uh, in my experience of this life thing, the inner voice it mine doesn't have uh volume to it. Like I wouldn't classify it as loud, I would classify it as pervasive and attention grabbing. It pulls and it controls my focus. It's like, you know, that constant ringing or buzzing that people have in their ears, like tinnitus. It's the brain tinnitus, it's tinnitus of the mind. It's like a constant buzzing of commentary, which I think is why it's so helpful to be around other people. Because it's only in the quiet times when I'm alone and there's nothing going on that my brain tinnitus takes over. Something has to be going on at all times for me to pay attention to in my mind. Or as it would seem, the thinking begins. Oh god, the thinking. I have found it to be monumentally helpful to talk to myself out loud when I'm trying to get shit done or trying to think through a thing. And I'm such a dork for philosophizing about this stuff. So let us do that. If you want the science-y type perspective, I'll put a link to an article that I read when I was Googling, hey, hey, Google, what is the deal with why talking out loud seems to help me more than not talking out loud? What are the results for that, please? Isn't it interesting though that like we do this in all areas of our lives when we're trying to like um fix a thing? Like anytime we hire a coach or a therapist or anybody, we're paying to be able to talk to them out loud. Workshop through a problem. And doesn't it feel a little better just to talk about stuff sometimes? Verbalizing it. Like, yeah, we're getting insights and we're getting guidance and all that, and we call it, but like we're getting stuff off of our chest. That that bubble of energy, if you want to get woo-ey about it, that we typically push down and then we bury it, we bury it, we bury it, we bury it, we bury it. Fuck. This is where my record skips. Burying or burying? Do you bury something? I like the word bury bury more. I'm gonna bury that thought. Okay. Moving on. Burying. We're we're all gonna collective agree that burying is how to say that. Good God. Um anyway. Lost my train of thought. But it's just not that common in society. Like people that talk out loud to themselves, they're typically considered uh crazy, right? So I'm crazy. Okay, big deal. Uh, journaling is kind of how society accepts us, working through things on our own, right? At least that's been my this is my observation, right? You could go to a coffee shop and you can journal silently about things. Get your latte, sit in the corner, and quietly work through your traumas, fill out a worksheet, and you shut up and write. For me, it's a lot more freeing uh to talk it out. That's when the tears are let out, right? When you're saying something and all of a sudden you get surprised by like a big bubble of emotion that comes up. Even if it's just talking to myself. It's a lot easier to do now and to get away with it in public, by the way. You put earbuds in. People think you're on a phone call. Done and done. Take comfort in that. Here's what I think I'm getting at. I think this is why coaching works, I think. This is why uh community works. This is something that I'm gonna try to be implementing uh in our accountability buddies in our membership community. I'm I'm still working out these logistics. I think I'm gonna need to see if anybody wants to be a guinea pig and practice this with me. But man, when I'm doing one-on-one calls with people or in the group calls, people find it really helpful to talk about their week, what's coming up. And sometimes it's just a matter of asking questions, having them verbalize their time, their world, their plans, their goal, their obstacles, asking the right questions, naming the hurdles, and have a plan for them. Talking it out. Now, I I know I so I'm a productivity coach, so that's that just is inherent in the conversation. But this happens all the time when people feel they feel ridiculous. How simple some solution seems after they said it out loud. Like, I can't believe that it was so obvious. It was right in front of my face. But it's like, it's because we're we're verbalizing it out. I believe part of this is that sitting quietly to plan a day, which is it's the breeding ground of the mind monster, right? The mind monster and all its self-loathing, the focus pulling chatter, the tension creating. That's not gonna like, that's not gonna work, this won't work. You've tried that before, you suck at that. It's a lot harder than having another human being listen to you plan your day. Could you imagine if you like you had a person who sat there and listened to you talk out your boring ass day? Like it doesn't seem like a thing that a normal person would do. You have to spend money to hire that person. So I'm working on how to how can I inspire that or how can I get create that within our community? So I'm uh come on in. It's $135 for three months. It's like a book 50 a day. Come on down. Uh, I just I really value talking out loud when the mind monster is taking up too much real estate in my brain. Don't you find it easier? I think even like if you think about religious people, praying out loud, that's a conversation with somebody else. The great somebody, like the ultra somebody else, but it's talking out loud. Talking out loud to me, it's always been more effective than silently thinking it out. What do you think? Let's try this for a week. Do you wanna? Are you currently shitting your pants in life? It's like life is overwhelming, you're freaking out about tomorrow. Try talking it out with yourself as if you were somebody who gave a shit about yourself. That's the cliche, right? Like it's like you're talking to your best friend. How would you talk out loud to a friend? Right? How would you? Like about their boring ass schedule and they're freaking out about it. Don't try to manage their emotions. Their emotions are real, they're happening, and they're freaking out, and that's their truth. Can you cut through that? Some questions that I would ask myself are in a non-judgmental way, as best I can, totally objective. Any answer is right. Like, what has what has to happen tomorrow? Does that truly need to happen? What's the bad thing that happens if you don't? Is there anything happening tomorrow that will get in the way of accomplishing this thing that I have to get done tomorrow? How could I mitigate that? What can I take off my plate for tomorrow? These are like objective questions that start a conversation, but trying to do it out loud. It's none of that, none of the conversation that we typically say to ourselves, which is, you have nothing to worry about, quit freaking out. Other people have it harder than this. Why are you taking this so hard? None of this is a judgment on the current emotion or mood state. It's totally objective. And you just let yourself bitch and moan about it, complain back, freak out. I don't have time for everything. Everything is so hard. Life is against me, nobody's helping me. I'm alone. That's fine. God, we're we are RSD people. We feel big, we react big. But I personally want to get to the thing, right? I I'm not gonna go through these, all these reactive thoughts line item by line item, and be like, well, why is that not true? Why is that excessive? How do I reframe that? Like the feelings are all real, they're happening, and they suck. But verbalizing them and having them, it helps me get those motherfuckers out so I can actually do the thing that I want to do. Uh, you want to try that with me? Do the physical thing that you need to do. Like, if you're doing like polyvagal work or like the cold exposure or the breathing technique, do that. I like to do push the wall over that exercise because that gets my energy out. And then verbalize. Get the words out. And by the way, you guys know that I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist, I'm not a polyvagal expert. I am a dude with ADHD, uh, depressive disorder, other specified, anxiety disorder, other specified, and I want to accomplish my dreams. I want to do a fucking thing, right? How does one do that? One wonders, when one has such fucked up school smaghetti and no medicine for thine ailments. This is how Zido's it. It's called play. Let's play. Uh, you wanna? Next time you're trying to figure something out, I dare you, I challenge you to do it out loud. See what that feels like. Does it help? Do you feel stupid? No wrong answer here. Extra credit if you do it outside walking down the street. Oh my god, extra, extra credit if you don't wear headphones. Just you walking and talking out loud like a wack-a-doo. Just working it out. Oh yeah, you are my people. I myself have not braved the extra, extra credit, but oh man, I do love a good walk and talk with myself. Alrighty, that's gonna do it for this week. I am dying to know what your thoughts are. Please share them with me. Go to adhdbigbrother.com uh and click on contact and poke around while you're there. I mean, there might be some resources that you might find helpful. Grab them. Collect them. Like it's a set. Collect the whole ADHD Big Brother set. Alright, with that, I hope you guys have a fantastic week. Uh, reach out with any questions, comments, concerns, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We'll talk to you.