232 - ADHD Motivation: Is Novelty Friend or Foe?

Novelty is a hot topic for adults struggling with ADHD. We know it's a source of activation, so let's talk about what's good and bad about it! 

Mentioned in this podcast: 

Join the ADHDBB community - https://adhdbigbrother.circle.so/adhdbb

Check out the card games I made: 

Goal Digger:

https://www.thegamecrafter.com/games/goal-digger-the-long-term-goal-game

Goal Getter:

https://www.thegamecrafter.com/games/goal-getter

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Transcript

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One of the ways in which an ADHDer can let us say ignite, shall we, spark into action, hop to it, get started. You know, it's is when there's novelty involved. So today, I mean, I don't know. Do you want to talk about novelty? That could be exciting, right? I don't know. Let's see. You are listening to ADHD Big Brother, the podcast for adults struggling with their ADHD, their comorbid depression, their anxiety. Oh, it's just a new. I'm your host and your ADHD Big Brother, Rush Jones. I've got ADHD too. I've got depression as well. It's crapastic. So let's learn some stuff. Let's laugh at some stuff. Let's make some commitments to do some stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, here's some stuff. Welcome to the podcast today. And that is whatever day that you're listening to it. I'm just gonna let's pretend that that's the day that I recorded it. So it's like it's fresh. This is just happening. This just in. How are you doing? We're at episode 232. I looked it up. That's a milestone. It could be a milestone. Um, I've done 116 episodes twice through. That's a big deal. Another big deal. Um, I just noticed on listen notes that I am now in the top 1.5% of podcasts. I I'm no longer I no longer hang out with the two percenters. I'm uh in the elite 1.5. I need to start acting like it. Anyway, that's pretty cool. So thank you. That's that goes out to you guys. So thank you for uh passing the podcast along to other people and getting it to the people that need it, want it, could benefit from it. All right, what are we gonna do today? What do you feel like doing? I mean, are are we done learning about ADHD? I don't know. We already know it, don't we? Uh most of the people that listen to this, I have a very strong late-in-life diagnosed crowd here. 40 plus, 50 plus, if you're like me. Um, we it's like we get it. ADHD, it sucks, but we have it. We've got a lifetime of of all the shit that went wrong, and we're trying to unstick it now. So I don't know, man. We already uh I mean, if you want to know how to manage your ADHD, go back and listen to the past through 231 episodes. It's clearly in there somewhere if you sift around. Or you know what? I do have a PDF. If you go down to the show notes, the ready set go situation. That's how you get started on anything. So if you're like, I can't get started, that's what you do. Get the PDF, follow that, one, two, and three, and you will have gotten started. Gotten gotten to have started. So you can click on the show notes for that or go to www.adhbigbrother.com slash ready set go. It's all one word. Done. You've been helped. Per free. You're welcome. Anything else I can help you with while we're here? Okay, let's go to the mental health report. Okay, so every week we do our part to normalize talking about our skull spaghetti. Let's get through this. Let's talk about it's the good, the bad, and the weird, because we're not always fine. We just got to normalize talking about it, airing our grievances like a festivus. Sometimes it's just good, you know, to get it out, share it, purge it. So here's me, you guys. Uh, I'm so fucking proud of myself right now. Uh, I got more shitty news from the government. What's going on with the government, you know, with their news lately? Um, this wasn't this isn't the big global news. This is just Russ personal news. Oh, God. I was on the precipice of another synctastical into the vile, putrid lands of depression. But I handled it like a goddamn champion of self-awareness and self-care. I self-cared myself. I did the self-caring. So high five me. What went well? Good question. Well, I did a couple of guided meditations. Uh, it's always a nice, soothing voice on those guided meditations, right? And they there was some comforting soundscapes or melodies, and they generally have me putting my attention on my body as we work our way from the toes into our heart center. And then the the golden threads from the earth core of Gaia comes and wraps around my body and through my third eye chakra. And then I wake up and I realize, oh shit, I guess I was actually just taking a nap. But I rested though. That's the point. I got a good rest in. So benefits, right? There's the benefits. And I had great conversations with my girlfriend. She's perfect. Love her dearly. And then I focused. Um, I'm not running from the feeling, I find. So I've been frustrated, but not hopeless. And I think that's the victory here. So you know what? Yay for me. That's my mental health report. Um, oh, and I ordered the DBT workbook. That's exciting. So the dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook. I'm a big fan of DBT. I like to read the books about the stuff. Um, and if you aren't familiar with it, you could just put it in your AI bot and be like, hey, what is this? Um, you don't want to do that? Okay, fine, I'll tell you. I'll put it into the AI chat bot thing and it'll tell you what it is. Two sentences. This is what it is. DBT is a psychological framework that teaches you how to balance the seemingly opposite goals of accepting yourself as you are while simultaneously working to change your behaviors. That sounds pretty accurate. I don't know if you're a DBT practitioner, you might want to fact check me on that. Is that right? That seems right. That's what they call radical acceptance, right? It's acceptance that's fucking rad, man. It's radical. And continuing on with the AI bot explanation. It provides a literal toolkit of skills divided into mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Interpersonal, everybody. Interpersonal effectiveness. We're not talking regular effectiveness. Interpersonal. I think AI is getting a little bit too big for its britches. I think what we're saying here is that we're being effective at being interpersonal. Is that what it is? I think we're talking about people skills. Can we just say people skills? It's interpersonal effectiveness. Yeah, let's go with that. People skills. You know, let's dial back the syllables on these things. We all know you guys, we all know there's fancy terms for everything. Executive dysfunction. Okay, how about I can't do shit? How about that's the what is the deal with me? I can't do shit. Oh, executive dysfunction regulation symmetry in the lower quadrant of your psychosomatics. I don't know. How do I can you guys tell that I love talking about this stuff? I just generally think uh I like the DBT stuff. It's just uh it's a that's a great way of being, like where ideally, where life can be shitty and I can accept some shitty circumstances and what can I do about it? And eliminating the anxiety and the dread of what could happen and the depressing hindsight of a fool, well, I would have, could've, should've, and blah, blah, blah. How can I move forward, even though I prefer that outlook? It's great. I'm actually going to propose that in our community for our next book club. So we're about to start a new book. So if you guys are book club enthusiasts, join the community now and let's get in on the next book club. You could have a vote on what we do. Um, we're reading Changing to Thrive right now, which I really recommend. That's actually a really good book. I don't often recommend a book. Really good if you're interested in the stages of behavior change. You know what I'm saying? It's good stuff. Anyways, book clubbing in the community. That's how we do, that's how we read them and do the work. Because you know how many of us are like, you know, we we buy the book, we don't read it, or we read part of the book and forget about it, or we read the book and just say to ourselves, yeah, oh, these are some really good ideas. I'm really gonna try that. I'm really gonna think about trying that, and then we just fucking forget. So we're uh combating that through the book club. So feel free to join. Um, you are formally invited to the community. Um, okay, that's a bird walk there. Did I cover the mental health? Um, I'm doing pretty good, all things considered. There's a lot to be stressed out about. There's a lot in my life to be concerned about, a lot to do, seemingly. Oh my God. The single parenting, it's not the smoothest of drides, but we're doing it. And I can say the things that are holistically helping me right now, not necessarily in the moment, always, but because I've been doing them for like a month or two now. I don't know. Timelines are hard for me. So maybe it's been longer, maybe it's been shorter. I'm not sure. But the benefits are starting. I do daily walks, uh, I do some strength training exercises a few times a week, maybe more. Uh I meditate, uh, no alcohol. I have no nicotine, no drugs, getting good sleep. Uh, and I'm eating 80% really good, and then 20% like I don't fucking care. Whatever I want. Shove a burger in my mouth, full on burrito, flour tortilla. Yeah, bring it. That way uh I feel like I'm not um destroyed for the rest of my life. So uh that's my policy. 80% impeccable eating, 20% what in the fuck are you doing to yourself? Um so I'm good right now. But what this makes me think of is that the all these things are there's these things that we can build into like this this big system, right? Um, I just mentioned a lot of stuff in a row, right? So I'd be like, oh, this is my my good mental health system. Um, but they kind of build over time. The no alcohol, I'm on day 260 something of doing that. That's been going on for a while. The no nicotine, the no drugs, that's years of that. Um, the strength training, I added really simply just a couple of exercises each time. I'm just using a pull-up bar, whatever makes what was making it easier. And basically, I've incorporated like a thing at a time. We tend to be people who see this like perfect ideal and like this perfect, oh, this would be the system. And then I work out and then I go for a walk and I meditate and I do yoga, I do Tai Chi, and then I eat this food, and then blah blah blah. And we have this whole thing built up into our head, and we try to do it all at once, which is fucking impossible. Or let's say it's unsustainable. Like maybe it is possible for a week or two weeks, right? Um, but it's unsustainable. So the trick is to incorporate one thing and then build. And I do that with clients when I'm coaching them. Like, you have to start somewhere and get successes in one area and then build on it. We often are we're often so impatient because like we can see what it's supposed to look like when it's done perfectly. So why can't I just do that? Just tell me how to do that. And it doesn't work that way, unfortunately. That was way too long of a mental health report. I should have just said I'm fine, right? How are you doing, Russ? I'm fine. And you? Okay, I love novelty. Let's talk novelty. Can we just can we just stop talking about this mental health report for a minute? Why do you guys keep on and on about my mental health? Can we talk about novelty? That's the topic today. Jeez. Can we pivot to the topic? It's one of the things that uh we know about ADHD, right? We are compelled to action with novelty. It's like, oh, that's a cool new toy. Let's try that out. Oh, it's a cool new app, let's give it a go. It's the shy, it's the squirrel, it's the shiny object thing. But man, it's it's not a long-term solution. Novelty is like the um, it's like that. You know that gum that we used to fruit stripe gum that had the zebra on the cover? Do you guys remember that? Oh my god, the flavor coming out of that gum was insane. It was like this intense tsunami of flavor. It was glorious, it was a taste sensation. And then about 10 seconds later, it's like you're chewing on a flavorless piece of rubber tubing. It's like hard, it has no, and you're like, what happened? It just doesn't last. That's I think what that's what I'm trying to say. So, right, shiny object syndrome, there's the squirrel. Something neat gives us the juice to move, the will to act, but novelty to me is not quite the answer. We think, okay, novelty works for me. How do I make things more novel? That makes sense, but that requires front-loaded effort that is not a guarantee. And novelty isn't a guarantee. Can you manufacture novelty? Yeah, I mean you can prepare for it, I guess, right? Like, so being in a new environment, that can be neat. So maybe we could get our work done at a coffee shop. Will that work? I don't know. Give it a try. The thing with novelty to know is that it wears off. I see this in the coaching dynamic all the time. So after probably four or five sessions, the excitement of the initial sessions, like, I'm doing a thing for me, I'm making change. That initial like gusto has worn off. And then it becomes about consistency. And oh, there's a period of like more of this. That's a period that we have to get through. That's part of the process. For me, when I'm doing a 30-day challenge in the community, like right around the 14th day, I start to lose my shit with the challenge. It becomes boring to me, it's obnoxious, it's frustrating, it's not fun. I throw a tantrum inside my soul. Like, why did I say I wanted to do this challenge again? This is so stupid. And it's like, how dramatic can I sound about it? I start thinking, oh God, I have 15 more days of this. And then my brain starts shopping around for as many good reasons as it can find to quit on the challenge. Something that won't embarrass me, right? Because I do challenges in the community, so I put visibility on them. So like, oh, I gotta figure out a way to make it so that I I don't, I'm not embarrassed by it or that I don't look bad. So my brain is like trying to find these loopholes, it's relentless. So novelty is it's like one of those energy drinks. It's like the cup of coffee in the morning, it's a sugary boost. It can work, absolutely. It's a thing to do to wake you up. But do you want to rely on it for the big picture for the long run? You know, I don't see a lot of people giving accolades to their caffeine intake, right? Like I am who I am because of my Fulter's breakfast blend. I swear by it. And then when there is no novelty or the metaphorical caffeine, like not doing things will make sense. All right, I get it, nothing novel about it, so I couldn't do it. Now it becomes a reason to hang our hat on why we can't do it. I'm doing a little bit of shitting on novelty, but I uh but I'm not anti-novelty. I love it, I use it all the time. It's a tool in the tool belt. I just want to give a nice overview of all sides of the coin here. Uh, and I'd like to honor the fact that all of us are different. You know, some of you might be like novelty junkies and are kicking ass in the world. Keep on kicking ass out there. That's it. A lot of it works for me too. There are areas where I lean heavily on novelty. I'm a huge game nerd. I literally, this is not a figuratively literally, this is a literally literally. I made actual physical games to help me do household chores. I play it when the tension is too high, when other things aren't working. I had specific dice made to roll for time increments. I feel stupid saying this out loud, which is isn't that interesting? Because I feel like, oh man, I need a game to do basic things in life. This is part of the reason why I don't give accolades to ADHD, is like it's a gift. Because there's a lot of it that makes me feel stupid inside, like a child. And so it's like having to get past that to be like, I don't fucking care. Yes, this is what I have to do, but no, I'm not gonna be high-fiving everybody who has ADHD to be like, isn't it great to be us? Ha ha ha. Our problems aren't problems, they're gifts. I'm not bitter, I swear. So, anyways, what did I leave off here? Oh, I got dice. Oh, I got dice. They're fucking cool dice. They're like five, it's like an eight-sider. Five, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes. How long am I gonna work on this shitty task? Let's let fate decide. I have tokens that I had made. There's like a website that will make actual game pieces. I'll link it. You'll have the link to the games that I made in the show notes if you guys want to buy them. They're they're there for you if you want. They make them, so whatever. They actually, these tokens look like actual game pieces. And I made them so to work on limiting my video game time. So I had to earn time to play a video game. So I would do bullshit stuff like cleaning or you know, something difficult to do that would earn me a token of 15 minutes of playing. And then when I wanted to play a video game, there was no guilt. I have an hour of game time accrued. I'm going to use it. That was great, and it lasted a little while. I don't currently use them, but I have them. So if ever there is a problem that comes up, there we go. A novelty tool. I love physical, actual playing cards. I just fucking love cards. I love the way they feel. I like playing card games, magic to gathering anybody, hearts, skip bow, phase 10, Uno. I love cards. So I had them manufactured for getting shit done. Side note, this was not done during a time when I was supposed to be getting shit done. I'm a good ADHDer. I walk the talk, guys. When it's work time, I work. And when it's playtime, I do whatever the fuck I want. And that's in some cases designing card games. And if you guys want to get them, if you want to see what they are, totally do it. The links to get them is in the show notes. Gamification. It's like a form of novelty. And the ADHD Big Brother community, it is an ongoing source of novelty. New challenges come up all the time. People do goals bingo. There's people that are doing uh, they've they created all these like things they want to achieve in the squares, and they're trying to get a bingo. It's pretty cool. Um, and new members will join and we get to be excited about something and someone new. So novelty definitely has its place and it can work. My stance, I think, I think this is going to be my stance. I'm about 50-50 on this one. I'd be really interested in your opinion on it. But I believe that we got to use whatever tools we have to get started first. So, whatever the task is to get started, and again, you can get the PDF, ready, set, go, that's in the in the show notes, but it's about moving our needle forward on these things that have to get done. And while we're doing them to be curious and open about what might make it novel. I'm such a fan of get started on the work and then iterate as you go. Like ADHDs, we're system builders. We sit on the sidelines and we craft solutions and we multiverse them, right? We basically think them out all the way in the million different ways they could go, and we find every single avenue where they won't work, right? That's the perfectionism thing. And the next thing you know, three years have gone by and you still haven't done the thing. So we're trying to close the gap between the not doing and the doing. Like jump into the swamp, right? Start sloppy and then iterate as you go. Find the novelty through the doing. That's basically, I guess, me pitching the community again. But here's how it works. This is this is how community in general works for me. Um, quitting nicotine. This is how I did it back in the day. Prior, this is prior to ADHD Big Brother. Something um I always wanted to do for decades, but I couldn't because, you know, nicotine. It's a motherfucker. It is really hard to quit nicotine. Um, they some people say it's harder to quit than heroin. I don't know if that's true or not, but it was really tough. Um, and I was successful in community. I joined a quit group. Great. And you post every day, right? Like in any one day at a time group. You just say day one, here we go. I'm not gonna chew tobacco today. And then the shit hits the fan, and then you announce inside the community how much you hate the world, how much you hate yourself, you're angry. Is this anger the real me? Have I been covering up my rage with nicotine? Am I actually a douchebag? Oh my god, and you suffer publicly, basically. And then on day two, it eases up. But the behavior triggers, the sense of being incomplete because there's no nicotine happening in all these environments. Ah, where would I? I need my nicotine. Something feels like it's missing in your life. And oh my god, that's really tough to do alone. But when you can vocalize that with people who are also in the same boat and they get it and they can empathize with it and they can offer solutions and help. Oh my god, it's so much easier. It's not easy, but it's easier. God, and aren't we all in service of that? Like, what makes things more likely to happen? So that's the same thing inside our community. It's a circle community if you if you know the software. I'm not here to promote the software, but you can you can make your own community. And there's a novelty to ADHD Big Brother. I mean, it will absolutely wear off. And my hope for you in anything, in any community that you might join, is that you stay curious about yourself. Like when the novelty wears off, okay, what's your scaffolding to get you started anyway, even though you have no novelty? I would love for us to have methodologies that are reliable, even though life is not always going to be novel. What is going to be your way to do a thing even though it's boring? Even though it's stupid, it's dumb, it's filled with tension and resistance, it reeks of not now. What is your unique way to do that? If the coffee shop's not available, if the cool environment thing is not available, what is your way to do it, even though? And just so we're clear, I should caveat. Like, I'm a productivity coach for adults with ADHD. So especially later in life, man. 40 plusers, I got you. 50, I'm here. Some of you are overwhelmed and you want a break. So take a break. Some of you have too much on your plate. Okay, so take some stuff off your plate. Some of you are like, I need a spa weekend. Okay, that's fucking great. I love that for you. Take a spa weekend. And then when you're done, get some help. The things that cause overwhelm will not go away because you meditated or because you went to a spa weekend. And I love a good meditation, but helping you find the time that you don't have to do those things, that's my jam. Seek help when you need the help. Don't wait for the head to be above water first to do something about it. Start sloppy, start dysregulated and overwhelmed and scared and tired and not knowing how or where to start. Start confused. If it's if it's a doing thing, I got you. Um, alrighty, guys, that's gonna do it. That was a lovely ramble. What did we even come to? Are we for a novelty or are we against it? I think I'm gonna be, I'm gonna say I'm for novelty with a caveat to go. It's not the cure all, end all, be all. That's just like people that are also saying, you know what, I just wait for the shit to hit the fan. That really kicks me into action. Living your life in urgent chaotic stress is no bueno. Not for me. So, in my mind, my summary, novelty is awesome. Use it to your advantage, but don't not do, don't not, don't I want to say do the work. Do the work even though there's no novelty. Life is going to be life in us the whole time. So while you are doing the work, using all the ADHD tools at your disposal, be curious about what might make it more novel to add a little sugar boost to your productivity. Great. And I hope you guys found some novelty in the podcast. And if you do find value in this podcast, please share this on your social media sites or maybe with a friend that you think this would benefit. I don't know that I've ever thought that through. What would that look like? You'd be like, hey Troy, here's a podcast you might like. It's my subtle way of inviting you to get your shit together. Here you go, Troy. Oh man, I need to think this through. All right, thanks guys for listening. Be sure to check out the show notes for the fun links and the neat things that I talked about. And I hope you guys have a fantastic week. And I'll talk to you later.