162 - Sky Waterson Teaches Us Her ADHD Prioritization Filter!

Skye Waterson, ADHD expert, coach and founder of Unconventional Organization, and host of the ADHD Skills Lab podcast came onto the show to teach us her very own ADHD Prioritization Filter!

We also did a crossover podcast where we discussed other topics on her podcast today! Here's the link to her podcast where you can listen to our episode:
The ADHD Skills Lab

Here are Skye's other links:
Unconventional Organization Main Website
Skye's Prioritization Filter Download
Instagram: Skye @unconventionalorganisation
Instagram: @theadhdskillslabpodcast
Skye on YouTube
Skye on Facebook
Skye on LinkedIn

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Mentioned on the podcast: Dr. Shane Calhoun workshop on October 18th. Click here to learn more and RSVP

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Can you guys relate to this? Like many of us have all these ideas of what we want to do, like plans and things and goals and it's all swirling around in our heads, and it makes us so gosh dang overwhelmed. Well, my friend and fellow podcast host and ADHD expert, Sky Watterson, is here to give us her methodology that she created to get on the other end of this, and it's amazing. You want to hear about it? Come on in. You are listening to ADHD Big Brother, the podcast for adults struggling with their ADHD and comorbid depression symptoms. I'm your host, Russ Jones, author of The Study at the Top, believer that you can actually have a smile in your life despite this diagnosis. So let's make some sense out of this struggle. Let's learn some stuff, let's laugh at some stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, here's some stuff. Welcome to the podcast, you guys. Okay, so I love when I get to hang out and talk to the experts in the ADHD field. It is so cool. So, uh, who's on the show today? Ladies and gentlemen, it's Sky. Sky's been on the show before. Episode 94. Oh my god, that was more than a year ago. Time has certainly flown by. Um, for those of you new to Sky, she is an academic with over seven years of experience working in adult education. She studied in various fields, including psychology, sociology, public health, and is now a doctoral candidate in population health. She was diagnosed with ADHD at the start of her doctorate, and since then she's dedicated time to researching and disseminating ADHD studies, focusing on supporting others with strength-based, neurodiverse-friendly tools and systems. She's so good with the science. And we talk about that a little bit in today's episode. She's the host of the ADHD Skills Lab podcast, and her website is unconventionalorganization.com. Links to all this stuff in her socials and everywhere that you can find her, it's going to be in the show notes. Before we get into this though, uh the ADHD Big Brother community, it's one built on coaching by community, which is getting your ADHD coaching in the form of a structured community, makes it more affordable for sure. And I run the community and I I have and I do workshops, and you're gonna hear Sky and myself talking about her coming to the ADHD Big Brother community to help us with her ADHD prioritization filter. And that has already occurred. So since the time that we recorded this to now, when you're hearing this, we've actually already done that workshop. She came to the community and she gave us the most amazing workshop. Her system that she describes on the show today has been tested live with her at the ADHD Big Brother community, and I was there too, and it was so awesome. Uh, and we're definitely gonna have her back for future workshops because come on, guys. I think we all just do better when we get coaching by community. But we also have an upcoming workshop with Dr. Shane Calhoun coming up on October 18th. He's gonna educate us on the skills to increase dopamine in the necessary parts of the brain to increase focus and productivity so that you can act on your motivation. You know, like that how we're motivated, but we can't motivate. It's like that catch 22. Like, we we want to do the thing, but we can't do the thing. Like, what the heck? He's gonna help with that. And the link to that event will be in the in the show notes as well. But Sky's knowledge and the way that she presents it is so good. She also has this on her website. You can go to unconventionalorganization.com and her ADHD prioritization filter, it can be downloaded. Um, and so again, it's all these links are gonna be in there. And then finally, this is sort of a crossover type podcast situation. I'm actually on her podcast today as well. And so when you're done with this episode, pop on over to the ADHD skills lab and enjoy more of Sky and Russ shooting the shiz biscuits. Okay, and now with that, let's talk to Skye about her ADHD prioritization filter. What the heck is it? Let's find out.

unknown 4:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

What I've found is that when people come to us, um, and we recently started a um a sort of group coaching program as well, just slightly different, but like similar energy and for because it's similar, similarly cool. Um, and you know, what I found is that when people come, they're super overwhelmed usually. People come because they're overwhelmed. So the first thing that we often have to do with people is help them go from like overwhelmed to focused. You know, we have to help them go from like, yes, but everything is all at once, all the time, right now. Um, how do I even figure out what to do to actually get to a place where they can, you know, come up with dopamine and systems to do things. So I basically ended up developing a system and then realizing afterwards that it was kind of the Eisenhower matrix separately. So I sort of I sort of did it like that. But basically, what there is is there's a couple of filters that people go through. So what I tend to, I'm just gonna give you the basic rundown of the system. It's like a 10-minute system and you can keep adding to it every day. Um, and then we can talk about it. Does that sound good?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Yeah, awesome.

SPEAKER_02 5:13

Awesome. Cool. So the first thing you do is you brain dump. You just do a big brain dump of everything that you have to do. You leave some space next to it if it's a physical brain dump for stuff to write next to it. And if it's a digital brain dump, same thing. Um, and I always say, like, your brain, your working memory will find something that you didn't know was in there. Like sometimes it takes a lot of people a long time to get everything out of their working memory and down on paper because they don't realize how much stuff they've been holding and like ripping so tight. Um, and yeah, it's a good that in itself is a great feeling. And then what we do is the first filter, and I do recommend people do this filter, even though 99 to 90% of these things are going to be do. But I say, okay, first of all, what do you need to do, delegate, or discard? So most people are like, everything is a do. I'm like, totally fine, but it's nice to think about it because it's always fun if there's something you can discard. Or sometimes you can do a catch and release where you can say, hey, you know that thing I was so excited to do, and I was like, I'll totally run it. Maybe you can give me more details and we can like you can organize the meeting and then I'll come to it. So sometimes we want to like take a thing and release it back to the person who gave it to us because actually, even though we're super excited to do it, we need a minute. You know, we're actually not the right person for this stage. Um, so that's kind of the delegate part as well. So so the first filter is what do you need, what is yours to do? What can you delegate? What can you discard? Then once you've done that, the next phase is you look at everything that you've written down that you have to do, and you divide it again into things that have to be done today, have to be done this week, or next week plus. And super crucially, everything that needs to be done today or this week, something externally bad will happen if you don't do it. And at this point, people start to go, well, nothing will ever get done. I'm like, no, no, no, you're okay. It's it's it's all gonna get done, I promise. You have to go on this, you have to go on the journey. Um, and that is a big difference for people. So, like it has to get done, or something externally bad will happen, does not include I will feel really bad if I don't get it done, or I told somebody that I would get it done, and even though they said there's no deadline, I to think this deadline is today. Like that doesn't count. So that really reduces the amount of things that you have. At this point, people go from everything has to be done today to like two things have to be done today. Now we have a ton of things that are that are labeled as not this week. So they they don't have to be done in the next seven days, basically. And for those things, then we can go, okay, none of these things have to be done right now. So none of them are are you know panic stations. Which ones do we want to do? Like what's the most important thing? And that's where somebody will pull out like the one or two, and I just say like one to maximum three, where they go, okay, well, you know, actually I really do want to get this piece of writing done. Like it's been on my list forever. I'd really love to do it. Great. Now that your week is a lot emptier because you don't have a million tasks that actually weren't that important and weren't that urgent, but were easy to take off, and so they're, you know, that kind of thing. Let's bring those important tasks into your week and actually schedule them at the very best time that you can get them done. And that is in a nutshell the prioritization filter.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

That's awesome. I kind of want you to come to our community and do this workshop. What if I'd love to bring you into our community and because I want to do this, but I want to be guided through it. Do you will you guide us through it from start to finish?

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Yeah, yeah. This is this is the first thing we do with our thing. So we will do it and then and then yeah, often the, you know, I I my personal view on teaching is I don't teach. I like if we were doing this in not a podcast format, I would just get you to do it. And then I would get you to work through every step as we go, and then by the time you finish, you feel better and you've learned a thing. So that's kind of how I how I run those things.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Um my God. This is the power of community to me. This is what it is. Yeah. Like I can this is a side note, I don't mean to make it about the the ADHD Brother community, but I'm like, literally, your knowledge is amazing. And I've you've simplified it. We already had our fight about delegating. We we already talked about that part of it.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

So listen to the other the beginning of the episode.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Yeah, no, it's all like we know what Russ feels like about that. Okay, so but like that, so you come in and we all get to experience this together live. Now, there's there's a difference to me. Like, okay, how many people are gonna listen to this podcast and be like, holy moly, that's a great, that's a great thing. I should do that. And then there nobody's gonna do it. People are just gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Yeah, yeah, that's why we we go, we're doing it in the moment.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

Now, yes. That and then it's it's like the ultimate body double, right? Everybody's doing a thing at the same time and being guided by somebody that that has a brilliant way of viewing it and teaching it. I love that. Yeah. Um, thanks. You've tried this on people and it's it's going good.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

I've tried this on a lot of people. So when I actually so before I ran the um our organiz our group is called Focus Balance Days. We're actually um updating our website to to really focus in on the group because it is very cool, like you said. Um, before that, I actually ran a free group um for people um where everything was uh recorded um as a part of it. I ran it for a month and this was one of the programs that we did. Uh, this was one of the things we did, so I could I could really see if it worked, if it was getting long-term results. Um, and then I was also running it, obviously, with a with the one-on-one clients that I had. Um and yeah, every time it's been good. Um the the last piece that was added. So, you know, the amazing thing about working with people over and over again is that people say, like, well, actually, this bit was really helpful. So, you know, that last piece, you know, really brought it together. And it's based on research, you know. The first step is to support your working memory, and then, you know, we're supporting your time blindness, and then we're supporting a little bit, you know, we're we're touching a little bit on that RSD. So every step is kind of uh um hitting a different piece of ADHD research as well.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Wow, and you're so mindful of all of it. I gotta say, like the part of it that really resonated with me the most was the simplification of it was due today, due this week, or next week. That's so simple. And that's an easy, easily answerable thing. And I find that anytime that there is a tension point is an exit. That's an off-ramp for me. Of like, that's too hard. I had this conversation with um I can't remember, maybe it was Meg's, but it's that um like when you look at your mail, you know how people are like, just touch it once and then put it away. And I'm like, Yeah, we talk about that. If I had to think for longer than three to five seconds, it's already too much, it's already too long, and it's already going somewhere that I can walk away from it. And so that's this to me is awesome because you've simplified the bigger thing. Is anybody gonna die if you do it to don't do it today? Is anybody gonna die if you don't do it this week or whatever it is? Yeah, it's so easy. So yeah, I'm excited about that. Just wanted to share it.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Nice, yeah. It's it is interesting. That's the hardest part is getting people to, you know, if anyone says they have more than 10 um 10 tasks due today or or due this week, I'm always like, okay, let's go through them one at a time. Because realistically, you shouldn't have more than five today and you shouldn't have more than 10 this week. Like mo like no one really has that. I I haven't had that experience. And if somebody is in a what we call like a red zone where just everything is coming at them, then we go from like, you know, external consequences to like, okay, imagine it's a fire in your house. Is it a kitchen fire that's gonna burn your house down, or is it like a fire in the back that like it's gonna burn itself out? It's probably still gonna be there when you get back. Yeah, yeah, we have to start grading the fire.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

We can't just Can a bucket of water handle this? Let's see. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, that's so do you do you find that um uh this is just you and me? Do you find like whenever I sit down to do a thing intentionally, uh that it it's like my thoughts are like cockroaches when the lights come on, everything goes away. Oh yeah. So it's like I'm gonna do a brain dump and I'll sit down to do a brain dump, and then suddenly I have nothing to do. I have nothing to happen. Do you have like prompts and things like that to jog that stuff out? Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

I do actually. That's so funny you should say that because that's exactly the it's I say, imagine your brain as a room, look under the floorboards, look behind the boxes, like, because often people will have that. They'll be like, there's nothing in there, and I'll be like, you just start with the first, it's just write the first, and people will write something stupid down, like, you know, not stupid, but to them it's silly because they know they have heaps of things to do. And the first thing is, yeah, brush my teeth, call my mom, you know, whatever it is. And then and then they start, they start pulling out, you know, and they're like, oh, actually, and then inevitably I love it when because obviously when I'm doing this, I'm often, you know, people are doing it. I give them a moment to actually do it. And then I'll see like a little, oh, like, oh, you know, like that moment. And I'm like, oh, they got one. They found something.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

I love that's one of the funnest things about having a podcast and having guests on, is that you can oh yeah, you can learn from the expertise of your guests and be like, oh yeah, it's a wonderful platform.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Don't give away our secrets, Russ. We know everything.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

All you have to do is slog and put together a podcast and do it every week. And then how to brand up.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

That is pretty much the funnest part of podcasts is talking. I mean, that's literally why I did it. Um, was to talk to people. It was to get in and talk to people? Yeah, yeah. Just because it's fun. It's super fun to talk to people.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

How do you generally work with people? Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

You mean in in terms of clients?

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Yeah. This is your big promo part, but how do we work with you? How do we pay you money?

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Yeah, so yeah, so basically um the thing that we're doing at the moment, which is awesome and like you said, more affordable than one-on-one, which is super cool as well, is um basically you meet with me, we do a consultation, and um yeah, get a sense of of who you're who you are and if you're a good fit. We we're particularly working at the moment with um professionals who have been late diagnosed with ADHD and are feeling really overwhelmed. That's that's the space that we're in at the moment. So if you're that person, what we do is we have a process, and what we talked about today is the very first step of the process, where we have six practices to help you go from overwhelmed to focused, stuck to proactive, and then inconsistent to consistent to help you have a focused, balanced day. And so we teach you that over six weeks, and then we have 26 weeks of like time where you're you're practicing it, you're coming back, you're working with groups, you're doing the body doubling, so that by the time you leave, it's like innate in you. You have these systems and you can you can come to them every time.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

So do you and you have a group? Do you have a community? Do you have like uh what is all that? Yeah, can you talk about that?

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Yeah, so we have a community. Yeah, we have a community, it's super awesome. Um, it's um, you know, I I've been so lucky in in what I've been doing. I've had coaches, you know, come along with me, and so they are part of the community as well. And so what I do is I'll meet um individually. So the thing we do is we actually have one-on-one as well. So we have 30-minute problem solving sessions. Um initially you'll meet and you know, work through something that's particularly a struggle for you. But then we also have once a week, um, I will meet with a group of people. Um, we'll work through one of these strategies together, we'll do it as we work through it because every time you do it, it's like yoga or meditation or anything. Every time you do it, it gets easier. It it you learn more about it. And then right afterwards, we'll do like a 30-minute um focus time when you're super motivated, because everyone leaves these things super motivated, and we'll just tackle the hardest thing you have to do that week and we'll get it done. So that's that's how we do it. That's amazing. Thank you. Thank you. We've I I've been working on it for the year.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

Yeah. That's awesome. How like so we'll have all the links and stuff to everything that you're doing in the show notes. I'll splatter it out in the newsletter. Um nice. That's brilliant. You're brilliant. Like, I'm just super excited for you to come by and do the that random.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Thank you. I'm excited as well. I love doing it because the first time it takes a little bit of time, but the coolest thing about it is when you, and this is when people really get excited, is like you can come back to the same list and you can just look at everything, cross off what you've already done, add to it. You know, your brain isn't as if full now, it doesn't have as much stuff in it. And so you can come back to it like every day or every week, and and um, it's super fun. I don't know. I just my personal thing, like I guess if I was to get on any kind of soapbox, it would be with ADHD, you know, the thing we're good at, the thing we know from the research that we're good at is creative thinking and creative problem solving. And we don't get to do that as often as we want because our brain is full of these things that we have to do that we don't want to forget and all that kind of stuff. And so I want your brain to be empty. Like I want you to be using your systems to have a brain that feels relaxed and is able to do things like go, I wonder what would happen if, you know, like that kind of stuff. We we I want people to be able to have the space to do that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

The um I I love the idea of the like brain dumping is not a thing that just happens and then is done. It's like a living, breathing document, yeah? Like where you add to it in time. Well, I suddenly have an idea. That's what I would use my bullet journal for be like anytime I'm walking around and a thing pops into my head. I just love the magical thinking of that, of the fact that just the visualization that like of having a brain empty so that it can be the creative, wonderful thing that it's meant to be. Um what is your thought then on because I see this with structure as well. I don't mean to derail this to somewhere else, but like structure to me is one of those things that's a necessary evil so that we can have more unstructured whim chasing time if we if we give ourselves a bit of structure. What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_02 21:01

Yeah, I mean, I have so many thoughts. We've always talked about this idea of like flexible structure, and I think that is important, but I think structure, so first of all, it should work for you. So the structure should be made for you. So even with the prioritization filter, like that is a structure that you can use, you can make it fit to you, you can do it on whatever platform works best for you, but you know, journal, whatever, that kind of thing. It's it's really, you know, the other thing is that we can really overcomplicate things and not just us, like just people in general. We can overcomplicate things. We can kind of like try and get our dopamine from making our structure more and more complicated. And that can be a bit of a trap where you find yourself across three dozen like different apps and you know, uh a bunch of of journals, and and so you you're really weighed down by the structure. And so A lot of what we do, especially when we get into weeks four and week, you know, weeks five, is stripping away a lot of the excess. And so you just are left with the essential structure that you need. Um, because yes, structure is important, but it should work for you, it should be flexible to how your brain likes to think, and it should be as simple as humanly possible.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

My MO in the past was always if I touched upon something that worked with structure, I'd do it for my whole entire day, minute to minute, and it would fail, right? Because I'm it's there's no wiggle room, there's no um what I found is that if I structure aspects of my day, I'm a I'm a real big um work session person, 45 minutes on, 15 minutes off. And when I'm going well, I will do maybe three or four work sessions in a day and be like 45 on, 15 to go do something awful or to relax and then 45 minutes on. That's enough structure for me to feel supremely productive and then do whatever feel comfortable enough to do whatever the hell I want without having all those shoulds in my head, right?

SPEAKER_02 23:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Um that's the way that I've found has worked best for me when it's working. When it's working.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

Yeah. No, no, definitely, definitely. And I think I think it's a similar thing. We we talk about it as well. We think about it more as like a flow. So it's about like, oh, you know, thinking about your day as like a flow. Because so often I think with ADHD, you know, we're like, right, you have ADHD, here's your planner, here's your timer, use it often. Uh good luck. And use it.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Just do it. Just do it.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

And then you end up, you know, and I mean I sometimes meet clients and they just, they just, their day is full of notifications and timers that they ignore because realistically, it's just not a great way to live. Like it's not fun. So a lot of it is, you know, to your point, to talk about dopamine. Um, so a lot of it is okay, let's create a flow that's gonna work for you and that you can do semi-regularly, you know, even if your time is really different. So a lot of, yeah, there's just so much that goes into it. But I really, really love it when people say, I used to hate my planner, I used to hate all of these things, and now I love them. I go to them to feel relaxed, to feel calm, and that is what I want.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

That's awesome. Yeah. The icon, that was for me, that was oh, maybe five years ago or six years ago. Finally, uh, so my way is the bullet journal. I use a bullet journal, and I used to be the guy that would buy a new Franklin planner because they're so beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Oh, yeah, possibility. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

It was just a hope, right? That all my goals and dreams are gonna live in here. And I would probably just get to like, if found, call Russ Jones. I would just fill out the first page.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

There it goes. 50 bucks.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

They're not cute. But they're so beautiful. And yeah, I've done the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

They're so beautiful. Yeah, yeah. Bullet journals are so simple to me, and it's an easy, it's an easy grab. I think it's the index page for me.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Yeah, yeah, 100%. And also, you know, the more I do this, and there isn't a lot of research on this, but I'd love it if somebody did some, the more I've noticed that like people with ADHD are very specific about how they think. So some people are like, I cannot think if it's not on paper, or I cannot think. I sometimes meet people like, I cannot think if it's not on the computer. So like it's it's different, you know, different people have different ways of thinking. And so a lot of times if your if your system of organizing is not the same as your system of thinking, it's really, really hard because you can't think. And, you know, that's you're you're trying to create a second brain, you know. So we need to use whatever system works for you.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

Not the shiniest thing, the most effective thing. That's I oh my god, that that's a total PSA for really self-awareness of how we think or how we individually think.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

Yeah, exactly. And you can still buy shiny things. You can even buy a planner and just put it, put it somewhere in your house and be like, this is beautiful. But but real, but when it comes to actually what you're doing, yeah, it's a decorative item. But when it comes to what you're doing, I've worked with people who have closed like really million-dollar deals with Google Doc, you know. So it's it's you know, it's it's about the simplicity of the system often more than anything else.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

Well, oh, that's a good way to look at it. Is like, what's the easiest, simplest way to get the thing done?

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

This is amazingly helpful. This has been one of the most amazingly helpful conversations I think I've had.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Oh, I'm so glad.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

I'm coming back on more. Um we should wrap it up. It's we've been close to 45 minutes. I'm yeah, only with interviews do these things go long on my podcast. I'm usually getting out in 15. There's so many juicy nuggets here. How do we how do we cut it short?

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Yeah, yeah. Sorry guys.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

So I'll put everything that people need to know about you in the show notes.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

Um, definitely. You can email me. You can yeah. You can book a consult, um, chat to me about you know what works. Like they're basically just whatever we whatever you decide to do, whatever we decide to do. I want to help you like know what's going on in your life. So that's what they're for.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

You're awesome. Thank you for doing this. I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Yeah, no worries. This is so fun. When you reached out and you said we should do another one, I was like, ah, this is amazing. I love, I love chatting um to you. And I'm so excited that you're that your podcast is doing so well. I and you know, it's it's so cool. I'm I'm not I'm not in any way surprised. Um, and uh yeah, I'm just excited to see what you continue to do.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Well, thanks, guys. All right, we'll talk to you soon then.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Bye.